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(Source: stinker, via rifa)

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Anonymous asked: I can't wait to devour the man fat from his love muscle. After having my tuna canal hammered, he then proceeded to thrust my brown mile. Inserting a gerbil into my oyster ditch got me spritzing minge monsoon faster than a greased weasel shit. The slamming of my turd cutter was so vigorous, he soon found his trouser conkors joining his wensleydale wand deep in my poop chute. He munched on my swollen budgie's tongue, even though I'd had the painters in for the best part of a week.

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taschkaturnquist:

Julia B.

[[I could see this as a case.
John: Worth, give me one of your cigarettes.
Hank: I didn’t know you smoked.
John: I don’t. But our ride broke down, we were attacked by Dust Devils, I’m naked, and we’re standing in the middle of New Mexico. I’d have to say this is as good a time as any to try something new. :| ]]

taschkaturnquist:

Julia B.

[[I could see this as a case.

John: Worth, give me one of your cigarettes.

Hank: I didn’t know you smoked.

John: I don’t. But our ride broke down, we were attacked by Dust Devils, I’m naked, and we’re standing in the middle of New Mexico. I’d have to say this is as good a time as any to try something new. :| ]]

(via rifa)

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craving-nomz:

Pork katsu with curry by foodishfetish on Flickr.
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gentlewolves:

udon (by naoko.n)
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shampooplanets:

loan chabanol

shampooplanets:

loan chabanol

(via druidichousewife)

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A Good Book

notagirlsname:

officerjohndoe:

John chuckled. “All right, then. I’ll even pay for you, how’s that? You take care of your things, and I’ll go buy my books.” 

She gathered up the books she’d set aside, and went up front, pausing in front of the Classics section, and pulling down a couple extra books to add to the pile. Handing them to the owner, she passed over a few bills from her wallet, accepting her change, and indicated he bag up all but one of the books. 

“You almost done?” she called to the back room.

“Yup!”  Hank hurried to shuffle the rest of her books back onto their shelves, not necessarily in the right order; she did that a lot, actually, but George always seemed to forgive her her clumsiness.  Hank was one of his favorite not-exactly-customers, after all.

She stuffed her notebooks into her bag and headed up front, feeling a little nervous.  John had offered to pay for her coffee; that almost kind of made this a Real First Date.  And, oh man, she hadn’t been on one of those in forever!  What would they talk about?  There was probably a set of date-appropriate conversation topics that every normal girl would know.  Or, geez, what if it wasn’t a date after all, and she just ended up embarrassing herself further by assuming?

Wish me luck, George, Hank implored silently as she passed the front counter.

John held the door open for Hank. “Hope you don’t mind a walk. The cafe is just a few blocks over, and I only have one helmet.” She pointed over her shoulder at a vintage looking motorcycle parked by the side of the book store. “I don’t normally need to car pool people,” she said with a chuckle, shifting the books in her arms. 

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(via rifa)

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A Good Book

notagirlsname:

officerjohndoe:

“I have actually had to ask that before,” John admitted, looking embarrassed. “Turns out she was a Las Vegas dancer visiting family on the east coast. She was a robbery witness I had to question.” The reminder of work made her check her watch. “I’ve got forty-five minutes until the cafe I want to go to closes, and I’m stuck being hungry through my next shift. I should buy my books… Would you like to join me, maybe? Uh, going to the cafe, that is.”

“Oh!  Wait, really?  Uh, sure!  I love cafes, they’re totally boss.  That’s all I do, is go to cafes.  Hehehe.  Not really…”  It felt like she was making an ass out of herself again; though she was starting to realize that John didn’t really mind.  Which… okay, was pretty awesome.  Definitely great boyfriend material.  Admittedly she was getting a bit ahead of herself, and it would probably turn he was already seeing someone anyway, or maybe he was gay… and besides, guys were never all that into her, so at most she figured he’d just want to be friends.

But still.

Man, she hoped she wouldn’t screw this up.

John chuckled. “All right, then. I’ll even pay for you, how’s that? You take care of your things, and I’ll go buy my books.” 

She gathered up the books she’d set aside, and went up front, pausing in front of the Classics section, and pulling down a couple extra books to add to the pile. Handing them to the owner, she passed over a few bills from her wallet, accepting her change, and indicated he bag up all but one of the books. 

"You almost done?" she called to the back room.

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wellrespectedmanabouttown:

officerjohndoe:

wellrespectedmanabouttown:

Hello, Officer. How do you do?

Oh, I don’t think anyone’s asked me how I’m doing. *She smiles.* It’s been the typical long day at the grindstone. I imagine you know what that’s like?

All too well, heh. 

John’s an interesting name for a female police officer, if you don’t mind my saying…

My parents thought they were being clever. *She laughs a little.* I’m actually surprised you noticed. I’ve had quite a few people just assume I’m a man. Funny how a name can change people’s perception.

(via cranstonesque)

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wellrespectedmanabouttown:

officerjohndoe:

maybejustaweebit started following officerjohndoe

wellrespectedmanabouttown started following officerjohndoe

simplyprofessional started following officerjohndoe

——

Oh, more people. Hello, I’m Detective John Doe of the New Jersey State Police, at your service.

Hello, Officer. How do you do?

Oh, I don’t think anyone’s asked me how I’m doing. *She smiles.* It’s been the typical long day at the grindstone. I imagine you know what that’s like?

(via cranstonesque)